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. >> in washington tonight, the g.o.p. is dealing with the issue of optics and diversity in politics, getting a lot of coverage of the congressional committee chairs selected thus far for the next congress. they are all white males. (audience reacts) >> jon: oh, i guess they all look alike to you, williams. (laughter) i'll have you know, there is a great deal of diversity and variety in that group. for instance, with these three gentlemen alone look like the kind of guys who would sell you three very different types of insurance. (laughter) and look at this guy! paul ryan! that guy's god a widow's peak. that's weird. that's different. and that guy, sure, he looks like your average local news anchor. but that other guy near him looks like your average sports announcer. (laughter) so the bland white guy with glasses, that guy's nearsighted but this other guy with glasses, that guy's got astigmatism. there's no -- what's that? really, near sighted as well? (bleep). all right. well at least with that many dudes in the group st
. >> in washington tonight, the g.o.p. is dealing with the issue of optics and diversity in politics, getting a lot of coverage of the congressional committee chairs selected thus far for the next congress. they are all white males. (audience reacts) >> jon: oh, i guess they all look alike to you, williams. (laughter) i'll have you know, there is a great deal of diversity and variety in that group. for instance, with these three gentlemen alone look like the kind of guys who would...
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you could play point. >> jon: you know what, i could play point on the washington generals. another thing you've done recently, you've started living on what's called the snap program, which is a food stamp program. you decided to live for a week on only what the city or the state affords you for food stamps. >> about $1.40 a meal. got into a fight on twitter with somebody saying the twitter... >> jon: sorry, you got into a fight over twitter. >> yeah. >> jon: you're on twitter? >> i am very much on twitter. it's another tool i have to communicate with voters, and i have about a million three followers. >> jon: oh, my god. i can't imagine. like "i got to go check my facebook page." "hey, who is that son of a bitch who poked me? hey, come on." so you communicate directly on twitter with constituents? >> yep. >> jon: don't they just flood you with vitriol? >> absolutely. that's the job of a public leader. you deal with complaints and people who are angry, but you find people will help you help the city. so i find out about water main breaks before my staff does. i find out abo
you could play point. >> jon: you know what, i could play point on the washington generals. another thing you've done recently, you've started living on what's called the snap program, which is a food stamp program. you decided to live for a week on only what the city or the state affords you for food stamps. >> about $1.40 a meal. got into a fight on twitter with somebody saying the twitter... >> jon: sorry, you got into a fight over twitter. >> yeah. >> jon:...
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denzel washington? - [voice of denzel washington] i'm here, i'm present, and i will always be around. - lil jon? - [voice of lil jon] yeah! - [voice of barack obama] excuse me, lil jon. welcome, ray. i'm glad to have you on board. - oh, [bleep]! what's up, barack obama? ahem! [chuckles] wouldn't that be something if barack obama just showed up? - your start-up paperwork's right over here. [dramatic music] - man, you gotta be more careful. learn to use the shining. tune in and out of it. otherwise, you won't be able to sort out who's talking. - and i'm sick of these goddamn snakes... - just give me the basketball! - on this goddamn plane! - here, yo, coco, what you want to drink, girl? - leo, what are you doing? - drink some colt 45 malt liquor. [overlapping voices] - women dig chocolate! - is everything okay? [dramatic music] - ray! listen for morgan. morgan freeman. he will guide you. - [voice of morgan freeman] listen to my voice, ray. now, just stay calm and focus on that white man. - [exhales] every
denzel washington? - [voice of denzel washington] i'm here, i'm present, and i will always be around. - lil jon? - [voice of lil jon] yeah! - [voice of barack obama] excuse me, lil jon. welcome, ray. i'm glad to have you on board. - oh, [bleep]! what's up, barack obama? ahem! [chuckles] wouldn't that be something if barack obama just showed up? - your start-up paperwork's right over here. [dramatic music] - man, you gotta be more careful. learn to use the shining. tune in and out of it....
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even the washington generals get lucky once in a while. but when you look at the overall record between the two teams, for god's sakes there are radio stations that play nothing but christmas carols, stores that sell nothing but christmas decorations all yearlong. there is a tv channel devoted to a yule log. and it's kicking cnn's ass in the ratings. don't worry, non- log-burning channel, there's christmas programs for you as well. there's tiny traditional christmas programming, really old-timey. special christmas programming. urban christmas specials. mormon christmas specials. country western christmas specials. chipmunks' christmas specials. otter christmas specials. bear christmas specials. cat christmas specials. large-headed child christmas. gay christmas. jewish christmas. whatever the [bleep] this is christmas. christmas underwater. christmas from the future. prehistoric christmas. that's right. there's a christmas special celebrating jesus' birth thousands of years before the birth of jesus. ( applause ) that is a holiday that is
even the washington generals get lucky once in a while. but when you look at the overall record between the two teams, for god's sakes there are radio stations that play nothing but christmas carols, stores that sell nothing but christmas decorations all yearlong. there is a tv channel devoted to a yule log. and it's kicking cnn's ass in the ratings. don't worry, non- log-burning channel, there's christmas programs for you as well. there's tiny traditional christmas programming, really...
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in fact i was telling the folks in washington today that the homes that were damaged or destroyed, 80% of them were the person's sole residence. and so people think it's like the millionaire homes on the beach. but really most of the folks are this is where they live every day this is where their kid goes to school. this is where they're retired too. >> jon: so you are in a weird spot. because you're a guy, so you are down there, are you asking for money. the same day the legislature in new jersey they ask if new jersey is going to do an obamacare exchange. >> yeah. >> jon: so you're down talking to the president while in your state they're saying are you going to do one of those state exchanges. you want money from him but down here you vetoed the exchange. go he know about that? de say like maybe i'll throw in another billion like-- what kind of-- what kind of horse trading are we talking about. >> no, no, he didn't. listen, i think he understands that there are all different kinds of issues. and there are going to be some that we agree on and some we don't. but we got to work togeth
in fact i was telling the folks in washington today that the homes that were damaged or destroyed, 80% of them were the person's sole residence. and so people think it's like the millionaire homes on the beach. but really most of the folks are this is where they live every day this is where their kid goes to school. this is where they're retired too. >> jon: so you are in a weird spot. because you're a guy, so you are down there, are you asking for money. the same day the legislature in...
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because we can just sit back in our garden and enjoy the fruits and flowery aromas of washington in december. welcome back. you know, in the weeks leading up to the recent election america's business leaders offered some dired predictions. >> four more year of obama will mean that we're going to have to tighten our belts even further, layoff more feel. >> these people just want to work in honor and dignity and this president is desaing that. we're going cancel their health care. >> i cannot pay my staff and pay all these taxes. there is only so much blood you can get out of a turnip. (laughter) >> jon: i don't think you can get any blood out of a turnip unless-- oh my god, those weren't turn is, oh. some business owners were explicit that an obama re-election would in their eyes doom their blood turnip businesses. but now that obama has been re-elected how have the john creators amongst us reacted. we turn to our deranged billionaire, john hodgman, john. >> oh, how dare you. >> jon: what. >> how dare you applaud me now after you shiftless moochers rejected everything that is good and right a
because we can just sit back in our garden and enjoy the fruits and flowery aromas of washington in december. welcome back. you know, in the weeks leading up to the recent election america's business leaders offered some dired predictions. >> four more year of obama will mean that we're going to have to tighten our belts even further, layoff more feel. >> these people just want to work in honor and dignity and this president is desaing that. we're going cancel their health care....
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but i think that, you know, the last year -- couple of years washington's kind of tested the patience of the rest of -- t -- but we've got 312 million people that i don't think 535 can impede their progress over time. >> jon: now, you guys have been friends for a long time. >> 45 years. >> jon: 45 years. he is -- i don't know, the eighth largest company or the -- >> i think it's seventh, actually. anyway, high. >> jon: and you're a very nice woman who's done very well for yourself. do you resent his success? (laughter) are you a -- when you talk to him, do you say "why don't you distribute the wealth?" >> that's the initial five minutes of every conversation we have. (laughter) i get into this. >> jon: the first question she asks me is "why aren't i in your will?" (laughter). >> jon: well, let me just -- why isn't she in your will? (laughter) >> now i want to hear the answer. (laughter) >> let's change the subject. i will point out in the last ten years i have probably paid taxes-- counting payroll taxes-- at a lower rate than carol has. it's wrong. >> jon: is it because we've got on
but i think that, you know, the last year -- couple of years washington's kind of tested the patience of the rest of -- t -- but we've got 312 million people that i don't think 535 can impede their progress over time. >> jon: now, you guys have been friends for a long time. >> 45 years. >> jon: 45 years. he is -- i don't know, the eighth largest company or the -- >> i think it's seventh, actually. anyway, high. >> jon: and you're a very nice woman who's done very...